The reason I decided not to do any demos on a separate canvas for every class is simple: there have accumulated large numbers of somewhat finished; half-finished, not at all finished medium size paintings. For that purpose, I invented my changeable demo board which can tolerate everything: all kinds of colors and themes. It takes a lot of work to bring these unfinished paintings to some completed condition. On the other hand, I do not always feel like I would be interested any more in either that subject, scene, or the work itself. You know this state: some time later, next week, next month, in the fall, etc. Procrastination is a tough thing to conquer.
We all evolve, it is not surprising that our priorities or preferred methods do not remain attractive forever. I suppose anybody who has done painting or writing over long period of time, has experienced the state when one has to really wonder what was that I liked so much in this picture, scene, poem, article, story or sketch. We have learned along the way, and the former passions pale out when compared to the most recent discoveries or achievements. To some point, that is also true when I think about some people who I was so passionate about 30-40 years ago. Were they worth the tears cried out? Oh my, I have to laugh now remembering the stuff which seemed like a tragedy back then.
The same laws of affection and love regulate my overall attitude to themes and objects which I would like exploring closer and drawing or painting. The colors I loved 30 years ago are not matching the color scheme I feel comfortable with at the moment. I would not say my drawing style or general approach has dramatically changed, but there certainly has been movement and development. I am one of those people who just took the pencil and started to draw, it was very simple and easy, and everything just fall in place as I moved the pencil around. I don’t actually use eraser when drawing, unless I would like to place something significantly higher, lower, more left or right. My mom had preserved portraits and illustrations I did when I was 10 (that’s 46 years ago), and I don’t find anything wrong with them. I suppose, I dared a lot because I had not studied anything art related. It was all fresh, all from scratch, and thus, totally unaffected by any other opinions.
These were my reminiscences from far away.
Today, I am facing a lot of work. Some of previous paintings are so highly textured that it is impossible to paint over the initial image or replace it with something else. I have been thinking also about adding some mixed media parts to such works, well, assuming I’d ever have time for that. I am not sorry to through out something which is completely out of line, but there is sort of appeal in previously used canvas. Some kind of challenge, too: is it possible at all to make something nice out of this mess?
That way, I have been adding some brush strokes here and there, and some paintings are actually getting done. Interesting enough, they seem to be unusually grey scale for me. Grays have abnormally huge scale of possible shades. It is interesting to observe what some particular stuff might result in.
The attached images might inspire somebody to also finish up their started works.
It is always fairly difficult to get on the photo the exact colors or look. I’m trying, however, no online image can ever replace the actual painting.
