I have accepted the inevitable. It took my entire strength. 4 days without my mom. 4 days, so full of pain and feeling of irreplaceable loss.
I have certainly been everywhere in my thoughts. I have visited every spot where we used to live, where we used to go, where we used to be happy.
My mom always adored all of my art; she adored the idea of creating beauty because she was a person who made admiration of beauty a big part of her life. She loved nature, and especially flowers and plants. She had seeded, planted and grown so many of them.
I had a chance to still show her the most recent pink flower collection and my mom was very delighted by it, but I have published it in all 3 previous posts.
I am posting the mom’s most favorite paintings this time. Some of them she kept very close to her.
The spring orchard painting was always in mom’s room. Love stays with us forever.
This sad time will pass, too.
Please, no more sorry messages and condolences. I know it feels the right thing to do, but when I will look at this post and at the post in lifeschool blog, I will be in the future already. I am very thankful for numerous support messages on my Facebook profile. I appreciate them a lot.
However, I would really appreciate comments about purpose and meaning of life, power of creativity and importance of art if you have ever been thinking about these matters.
I want to take with me to the future only the good memories and memories about the pleasant things we once had.
I will be traveling to Europe for quite many hours and then there will be the really important last things to do, and I hope I can check out the likes sometime later.
Facebook: FB profile, please scroll down
Lifeschool blog: Flowers for my mom
It is amazing how things always survive people. Unfair, actually.
Not sure when you will get this – but love the “bluebells” one the most – and was wondering what kind of trees those are – the three tonthe front – are they aspens?
And all the art has a nice flow here and your mom had great taste –
Sending up prayers of strength and good thoughts your way
💜🙏😊
Thanks!
I have recovered, more or less, but certainly I got back energy and desire to work.
We painted that in workshop, so, it was done quite fast. I’m not sure, but these trees looked like small birches to me.
I don’t have that painting any longer, it was sold soon after painting, but, luckily, it is possible to get a print if I wanted. I actually painted 2 of these and both are gone.
I will maybe paint the 3 this spring at a workshop.
🙏😊
🙏😊🌸
Apologies for only seeing this now, after leaving that other message on your older post, Inese. BIG hugs as you share love for your mom and remember the times together xxoo
Thanks Christy!
No need to apologize, everything is fine.
This was a huge shock and it shook me quite terribly.
The previous week is behind me now and I will recover as the time passes by.
I’m very much looking forward to the arrival of spring. I’m also fighting jet lag still because I didn’t get any chance to sleep after I arrived which was almost a week ago.
Thanks Inese for the nice replies. I hope you are able to get some rest soon xxoo
Well, life doesn’t wait. I have to move forward and I can take with me memories without getting stuck in the state of grief.
Time passes by so quickly, it’s already March, the last month simply disappeared and it is actually good it did.
<3
Thanks! I will be in touch!
Hi Inese.. .I am gathering that your Mother passed away. I must have missed a post previously. I realize that you likely can’t handle too many more condolences…. I will simply say that I can recall when my own mother died, it brought with it questions you referred to; wondering the why’s and wherefores of a person’s life and the meaning of it all. I would suppose that’s a natural thing to do….. I didn’t paint at the time, but I would imagine if I did some of what I was feeling would be reflected in my art…. Take care …. thinking of you Diane
Thanks Diane!
That is exactly what I felt when I was writing this post.
I am in Europe. It was a difficult week, very difficult. I mean, the previous one.
I am recovering slowly after everything.
I haven’t done anything at all so far, but I have some paper with me. Not there yet, however. I first need to relax a little bit and get rid of jet lag, too.
I’m looking forward to spring.
Beatiful pictures, sweet memories.
Hugs~
My mom kept quite a few paintings in her room. Her room was so organized, so neat that I had to cry. Even apple on the coffee table survived her, I thought that was unfair.
I’m so sorry.
Thanks Robbie! It’s ok. Mom had a long and busy life. I have gotten lots of skills and knowledge, I have found art, although, nobody ever painted in our wide family. She opened my eyes at very young age to notice beauty. I was quite good artist by the time I was 12. I could draw realistic portraits and good still life art. I never used photos and I mostly don’t still.
That is such a nice legacy your Mom left you.
Your pictures are beautiful!
Hugs~
It definitely is. Thanks!
🤗💖
Thanks!
You are so welcome!💖
I feel like I’m in a fairyland..beautiful paintings 😊❤
Thanks! I just wish the reason for publishing these paintings were different. These were mom’s favorite.
Great memories is all what remains now.
Yes, I read it. May her soul rest in divine. Hugs.
Thanks! She is with God since she loved him and was always praying.
I love all your paintings, but the first one I am particular drawn to.
I still keep saying I will get back to watercolours. But not got round to it yet. I have not done it since I left school.
Watercolor paintings are lovely.
All these paintings were my mom’s favorites. I feel like I have lost my biggest fun.
It has been so difficult and I have been avoiding reminders of what happened. The best way to regain peace of mind and some energy is doing more drawings and paintings. I’ d be very happy to sell some, too. I have to restart everything.
Thanks, Liz!
It will be emotional as you paint, but with the inspiration you had from your mum, may you continue and find new inspiration too.
Appreciation is a great thing. It makes us want to move mountains. I simply realized that life is not never ending. While every day leads us to the future, hopefully, better future, I won’t be wasting any single day aimlessly and I will do even more to stay fit and in a good shape. I think we enjoy too less of everything. Perfect life might never happen, but good and pleasing life should be what we all experience.
Yes, I agree on all you say here. 🙂
Thanks!
Beautiful Paintings Inese.. And yes, Love is enternal <3
Thanks Sue! I appreciate your comments, I’m just not full time blogging since I am spending this time in Latvia. I’m soon going home. I feel like starting a completely new chapter.
I can understand that given all you have been through . Much love in your new chapter 💙
Thanks, Sue! That is so nice. It is a new chapter. Luckily, I am an artist who loves all the bright and light colors. You probably know that I never ever use black paint. For that reason, I hardly ever wear black. I really love light and everything cheerful.
Just as it should be. Colourful and bright 🌈
Thanks, Sue! It happens unintentionally, but it is a great way to implement energy in art. Color transfers so much of it, plus, the thoughts which go into art while creating it.
Dear Inese,
I thought of you from time to time and I knew in my heart that you knew that everything in this world is temporary and we do the best to use well, in a purposeful and compassionate way, the time that has been given to us.
I love your paintings and I know that you are strong and that you will use your art to share a message of beauty and hope and I know that your mother is proud of you eternally and she must be smiling (in the dimension where she is now) just at the thought that she instilled in you the same love for beauty and nature and art.
Take great care of yourself!
Thanks Michelle!
I actually hoped until the last minute. I got the flight ticket to take care of her for a month, but it turned out to be too late. Everything that only could go wrong also went wrong starting with dumb ambulance and equally ignorant and dumb doctor at emergency. The care at hospital was worse than one could ever imagine.
It was the most difficult experience I have ever had. The most awful days ever.
Temporary or not, I wish mom had more of life, not only difficult and heavy work.
Most people don’t even realize what difficult is.
Anyway, I’m ok, soon flying back home to canada. I feel a big part has come to the end. I sort of feel like I wasn’t ready for that and destiny cheated on me.
I’m very different most likely from the majority of people you know. Well, I don’t need things like calming me down or something like that, I go through everything being realistic. It does not mean, though, one can avoid pain.
I just did a huge translation, painted a few paintings and read some 10 books at night. Spring is coming, life goes on. It has a big void now.
Dear Inese,
I totally resonate with your words. We are never ready for these difficult moments. And I also hoped just as you did. And it’s sad when it’s an unfortunate turn of events that leads to such a situation.
Take heart, dear Inese! In time, you’ll replace this physical void with an internal knowing that from where she is now, your mother will always love you and watch over you.
It is very important to take as much as possible comfort in painting, reading and staying in the moment.
Take care of you!
Thanks! I think my recent posts on both blogs show how nicely I have moved on. I do still think a lot about mom, etc. and the last views at cemetery and so on, but as I said before, I’m realistic. My paintings are actually on the very idyllic and romantic side. I wrote about that, too, just yesterday.
Dear Inese, I love your paintings. They are vibrant and beautiful and just as you said, your art is a happy one. I totally agree with you. And I am happy that you have this strength to continue making beautiful art from the soul.
I read your post about freelancing and being a medical translator and how the translation market changed in 2010.
I worked as a freelance technical translator and conference interpreter until 2010 (when my son was born) and when I knew I could not be able to meet all the time and urgency requirements that you mention in your blog post (and more than anything, I wanted to be able to be present for my son as much as possible).
So I totally understand your point of view on the theme of being a freelance translator.
Take care!
Thanks so much!
Freelancing nowadays has become being exploited to some degree.
I still do write original texts in German, English and Latvian (I don’t have Russian keyboard, otherwise could write these, too) and also translations from and into all these languages. It is mostly medical work, but I don’t mind some other fields also. I just did a large Business Code.
I could at least always charge more because of expertise and clinical experience in medicine and some areas in particular, but technical translators (to my knowledge) couldn’t even do that. Interpreting was always paid better, at least I was, but, basically I know how much rush it was and typing until one cannot distinct letters and gets cramps in hands and wrists.
I totally get why you wanted to take time off.
I’m very selective now. Thanks to medical companies worldwide, I have some good offers time to time, but rarely. I am only interested in large volumes between 25 to 100 and more pages. I don’t use CATs any longer. I do some books and brochures here and there, too.
The market became cheapos market after 2010. I hate being exploited whatever way.
It is very tough work. That includes content writing. Medical field has very few good writers, but still, it is very difficult because of extra tight deadlines and lack of appreciation in quality. It’s past 1 am here, have to rest.
I know what you mean, dear Inese, when you talk about tight deadlines. I also think it’s not an easy ride to translate medical documents, you need to have prior knowledge in the medical field.
In my case I translated all kinds of personal documents, university curricula, business documents for companies, etc. and a lot of juridical documents (I was part of the project of translating the EU legislation – acquis communautaire – from French into Romanian. I was very proud at that time to be in this project, I passed a lot of examinations to be accepted. But I always loved challenges, I challenge myself, but I never compete with other people. I don’t like competition, I believe in helping one another.
Then I had my own translation company for 5 years. And it was my first try in entrepreneurship and I totally loved the feeling.
As you said it also, translating is a lonesome activity. I made my agency because I wanted to collaborate with other translators and be part of a bigger thing. And it worked very well for 5 years.
Then I felt that things were changing: changes in legislation, more translation agencies competing for the price and offering no quality at all. And then my son was born. And it changed my life and my priorities in the world.
But I have the same admiration for translators and for the work they do in the little time they are given, so I was very impressed by your blog post.
Have a beautiful and creative day (and productive as well)!
I can pretty much understand your position. I noticed some 5 years ago or so that fair agencies which were paying decent fees had very hard times to survive. I knew a lot of good German and UK agencies, and they got fewer and fewer jobs. In the medical field, it quite frequently did not matter to which agency client had sent their work, I was doing it anyway. When it came to really complex texts, I was the one who thanks to medical and clinical knowledge was doing them. However, the changes fair agencies versus advantage taking agencies became very unfortunate for the fair ones over time. Proz discussions clearly show that. However, it’s also translators themselves who just lower the bar without any idea how this will work in the future.
I would imagine it wasn’t easy for you with all the competition. Very soon after I started out I decided that I didn’t like legal texts one small bit. I have done some legal stuff over almost 4 decades, but I was never happy with process. I always stayed away from EU tenders, but I have done some Latvian laws into English.
Right now, there are very few agencies which pay decent fees. Most are huge and insanely huge corporations with offices all over the globe. That’s why I have switched to private clients. I’m more interested in books now.
I can imagine how tough it probably was for you because you cannot hire as many people as big guys and you cannot afford that insane rate decrease and all kinds of discounts. They achieve that putting insane pressure on translators and cutting off any pay as much as possible. I just became totally uninterested in that type of work because nobody cared about quality any longer.
I just arrived last night, my schedule is all over the place and I have to get used to home time zone again.
Dear Inese, you have a very clear vision of the translating environment.
I still miss sometimes those moments. But I think that what I loved the most was the entrepreneurial side of it. And I was happy to be of help. For me, it all came down to the fact that people needed their documents to be translated (fast and well
) and I loved being of service. I liked the entrepreneurial part because I was representing myself as a translator, but, more than that, I provided work for other translators as well. Even now old collaborators ask me whether I would consider re-opening my agency because they loved working with me: I was always respectful, I did my best to negotiate good deadlines and they knew I paid them a correct price.
Part of my friends that worked as freelance translators had to get a job in big companies or abandon the translating industry.
Yet, I know that people will still need translators to convey a message from one language to another so I¨m happy to know that there are still people like you, interested in delivering quality. And I think it must be interesting to translate books. Wow.
Have a beautiful day and I hope you’re transitioning easily to your home time zone!
I definitely believe you had a very decent agency and were a fair and responsible project manager.
I’ve been in writing and translations since times when there was no internet yet, that’s why I know what happened and what direction it went.
Initially, it was a very well paid job. I interpreted, as well, but I come from writing, I have lots of published articles, poems and that kind of thing. I was always good with languages, I was reading German books along with my native Latvian and our mandatory Russian literature already at 12, I mean, I was using fluently 3 languages. I added English during University and improved it while teaching in Latvia.
I loved translations that were difficult and complex. That is why I chose medical field. I still do both, my own writing and translating when it comes to medical things.
I don’t like the general translation industry environment because it’s never any longer better quality (theoretically, yes, but in reality: no). Some would hire the cheapest translators and then give the profoundly wrongly translated text to a skilled editor. I stopped doing editing around 2010, it just became waste of time for nothing.
I still enjoy reading books and writing in all 4 languages. It’s also nice to communicate in them, too.
I think people who were translators some 30-15 years ago formed a nice brother-and sisterhood. I am still in touch with many. There are lots of requests on a daily basis, I just mostly do not want to bother with small texts and very tight deadlines.
It is great to meet here somebody like you who knows ins and outs of that industry. Most people do not assume translation or interpreting a specific area that takes huge experience and lots of skills. Well, it actually takes talent, too.
I really admire you a lot for speaking fluently so many languages and for working as a Translator in the medical field. I also love your works of art and I am amazed that you manage to do both extremely well.
I also loved doing translations that were difficult and complex. I always challenged myself to be a better translator (I challenge myself very often, but I never compete with other people. I believe in collaboration and supporting each other, not in competing with each other).
My Major was French and I was very good in French, but I had to work hard to improve my English skills because 90 percent of the work was from Romanian into English or the other way round. But I kept reading French books and I’ve been living in France for the last 6 years, so I get to use my French as well.
I also wanted to tell you that I admire a lot your integrity and the beautiful and encouraging message that you express through your blog posts and through your art. It really speaks to me and I’m sure that there are a lot of people out there that resonate also with it.
Wishing you lots of inspiration both for your translating work and for your art and Hats off to you for managing both activities so well!
Well, we all have to work hard on any skills. I just got these language skills very early on. I am also already slightly over 60, I just don’t look it and don’t feel that way. It would be weird I hadn’t learnt anything during 6 decades. Plus, I worked at high schools and colleges teaching for many years, that is an excellent source of learning, as well.
I also started to paint and draw very early without needing anybody to teach me.
I do also fashion design and I was sewing my own clothes since I was 12, lots of gardening, I have green thumbs.
I do good cooking and interior design, as well.
Before being a translator I was a writer, that helped a lot.
Thanks Michelle for integrity. That probably also comes from family. My dad was the strongest person I ever knew. We were never allowed to walk around whining and crying. I was told there isn’t such a thing I cannot do if I want it strong enough, and that was always true.
It is very difficult for me to tolerate lies and pretense. I just cannot take it. I find that happens a lot in North America. I wish people were more honest and fair and they didn’t try to paint everything pink when it’s black, that type of thing.
Thanks a lot! I’ve got to run.
I think it’s a great thing to speak several languages, especially from early on as you did. I wanted this for my son. All my love for the French language is condensed into the fact that my son speaks French like a native speaker (he also speaks Romanian fluently as we speak Romanian at home).
I feel your energy and your love for color in your painting and I love the beautiful warm vibe of your paintings. I’m sure that your creativity goes beyond your paintings and you’re expressing it through your interest in fashion design and interior design.
At some point in my life I wanted to be a fashion designer, I also love colors and fabrics and the idea of expressing who we are and how we feel inside through our fashion choices. But, in the end, I realized that making jewelry was more suited to me. But my passion for jewelry making is an expression of this same idea.
Your integrity and your commitment to quality work really show in everything you do. And you are very courageous to stand tall for what you believe in.
Take care! Thank you for taking the time and writing such beautiful replies!
I think so too, and it’s very good for your son.
I learned languages because that’s what small nations do: to read excellent books in original.
Being a kid 55 years ago was very different from being kid right now.
There were no distractions, so, I was free to do sewing, drawing, painting, gardening, crafting, anything creative, but after I was done with washing floors, dishes, cleaning house and helping about the garden and doing homework for school.
I actually won some major prizes in the former USSR for my amber necklaces maybe 48 years ago. I did them from scratch, from raw pieces of amber and created also all metal parts. I think I have done everything.
We couldn’t buy anything in the stores, so, I was thinking one time that I only cannot make shoes and boots for me since everything else I could and had to. That included furniture and many household items, not to mention decors.
Creating jewelry is fantastic. I have done that, too, but we didn’t have any such materials or tools as there are available now. I remember though I was baking some jewelry items in oven, regular wood oven, and mom was angry because it stank. It looked great after painting.
I did also real clay for a while, just to make vases and decorative pots.
You would not believe how creative one can become when nothing can be purchased at the store. I can thank USSR for my extreme creativity.
I think most people do not know what difficult is, I honestly think so. Internet is taking huge toll on human brain and we have every second person depressed.
The cure for that would be: hard physical work outdoors, like digging soil or planting acres of veggies, manually watering them and so on, staying close to nature and creating beautiful things instead of buying stuff on Amazon.
You are a fantastic person to communicate with! Thank you for that!
Beautiful. I love the colors.
Thank you, Celia!